Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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