He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize