He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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