My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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