I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize