My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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