How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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