You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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