can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
being pregnant is like rehab
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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