I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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