So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
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It's official drugs can't kill me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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