I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize