Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  My cock was attacked by outdoor plants

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  (631): My cock was attacked by outdoor plants http://tfl.nu/04m9
  Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (1089) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation

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  (908): my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation http://tfl.nu/55rf
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.

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  (307): i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian. http://tfl.nu/fuqa
  Replies (46) Good night (4375) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"

  (905): View more from Ontario

  And sadly I did.

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  (905): They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?" (905): And sadly I did. http://tfl.nu/9e0f
  Replies (25) Good night (1968) Bad night (3951)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.

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  (513): So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations. http://tfl.nu/znj0
  Replies (19) Good night (5805) Bad night (817)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea

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  (587): Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea http://tfl.nu/gdya
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.

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  (512): Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later. http://tfl.nu/arob
  Replies (5) Good night (2533) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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  (816): He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP. http://tfl.nu/4ge4
  Replies (22) Good night (6184) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other

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  (401): We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other http://tfl.nu/z80n
  Replies (14) Good night (1605) Bad night (4089) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals

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  (817): We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals http://tfl.nu/i9zu
  Replies (12) Good night (1923) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw

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  (+61): Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw http://tfl.nu/i9kl
  Replies (10) Good night (1290) Bad night (577)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES

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  (734): WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES http://tfl.nu/4qd7
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate

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  (856): Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate http://tfl.nu/thdo
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon

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  (904): We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon http://tfl.nu/g9lm
  Replies (3) Good night (981) Bad night (266)
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  (1918): View more from

  If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.

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  (1918): If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones. http://tfl.nu/ifdn
  Replies (6) Good night (310) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt

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