she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize