Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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