when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize