I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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