I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize