I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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