she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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