and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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