We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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