You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
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My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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