Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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