If i come over, it means nothing
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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