I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
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We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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