She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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