your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
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is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
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I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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