he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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