All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
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Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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