so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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