were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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