john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize