Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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