I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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