Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize