just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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