Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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