They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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