i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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