This girl is more easily done than said...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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