never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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