at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
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I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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