Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize