dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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