Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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