my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize