i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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