I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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