I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize